Home again home again jiggitty jig! end of cruise holiday

Well the stopover in Newark ended up being somewhat of an ordeal, but if snafu’s never happen then my writing about our travels would be that much more boring. We get the announcement an hour before take off time that, although we have a plane, we don’t have a pilot.... like wth? ....oh it gets better....we had a pilot... but now we need a replacement for him....again...wth? Was he in the lounge and consumed to much alcohol....or was he falling asleep on the last flight and needs to have a nap? Did he have a fight with his wife and now has Air-rage (new term...lol)...? We are unsure about what to think about this message....but ya know what I am thinking? yep....this sounds like something else I have never done... we need to stretch ourselves and flying one of these babies could be a real stretch...????

 

 Now if I was in charge of that announcement I would have had that delinquent pilots wife, giving birth in a cab in New York so he had to make a hasty exit. . As it is we need to imagine all sorts of scenarios ...we have a pilot but he needs replacing...geeze! ....but wait it gets even better.....about ten minutes later .....as I’m thinking how do you get a reserve pilot to the airport in time for us to board and take off...I mean it takes us forever to go through security for Christ sakes (there are three people waiting standby for this flight because they missed the last one that morning for that very reason).

 

 Now comes the announcement that we are changing planes as well....and NO , I am not making this up, they have found a pilot but apparently they have to find him a plane he knows how to fly.... ok so I made that part up ..but wtf? Now we need to change planes and change gates , there is another plane at that gate that will be taking off in ten minutes (lies...lies...and more lies, try one hour) then....we will be towing ‘your plane’ into that gate...oh god ... have I mentioned in any of these journals how much I hate flying? It is a means to an end , although I am a good swimmer , some of these places are just too far and my lust for travelling over powers my fear of flying. 

 

 I just try to make myself small (I know...lol) and I don’t chat (ya...hard to believe...) I don’t eat , drink or shop...?..yep ...apparently they have a whole catalogue of stuff you can purchase ‘duty free’......really...?when did flying turn into a shopping experience ? ......then I wonder hmmmm...do they have any jewelry and whereis all this stuff...  is there a cargo hold filled with merchandise and THAT  IS THE REASON we need to pay for ALL OUR CHECKED BAGS NOW ???? So ..ok...that was just a fleeting thought and buying any kind of food and drink on a plane requires a credit card that is not maxed out and I am unsure of mine....but the bottom line is that my goal .... IS TO NOT USE  that stinky dirty bathroom that Mister T just used...ugh! I stay in my seat and hope I don’t get one of those embolisms in my legs from not getting up and stretching ...so I wiggle my toes a lot, and I have avoided that baby so far.

 

 They finally have a plane in place for us and we are into two hours late now. Our original arrival  time is 11:00pm (we lose two hours for time zones as well) but wait....seems like we are going to make up some time in the air (ok so a tail wind is good but do they just fly faster too?) we arrive at 11:41 and I only mention this because our ordeal is not over.... you know that extra  bag I had to buy because I have no will power when it comes shopping? Well I have been draggin it around and hoping they don’t weigh it ...insert smiley face here.... but wait...we get to check it FREE on our way into the airplane ! Sharon and I are glad to get rid of this extra baggage until it comes time to get them back on the other end.

 

 All goes well and the flight is excruciatingly  long (as they all are when I am flying) but uneventful. Everyone  rushes to get off the plane and scurry past us two old gals only to stand in line at customs. We get through customs.... ok ...this is where those two old gals stalking us and wearing our clothes take over and breeze through with just a few gifts for the grandkids ...hahaha

...those two old gals are wearing a lot of rings...hmmmm.

 

 So now we are waiting for our luggage, we flew AFC which is partners with United Airlines and they have adopted AFC’s slogan “we’re not happy ...until you’re not happy !” . We wait a good half hour for our luggage and when it finally shoots out Sharon and I are so happy ours are the first bags , our big ones, (that we had to repack at check in to rebalance weights so we are at an even 50bs each.....I add more stuff to my carry-on and Sharon lets  me use her extra 4lbs and we manage).

 

 Well this luggage is coming out in fits and starts (we are still awaiting our carry-ons....)  then ......nothing........ hmmmmm half the people are still here and waiting as well.... We wait another half hour , it is going in to an hour now and still no luggage . Meanwhile a flight from Chicago has arrived ...been through customs....AND they have their luggage and are gone!!! Did they quit with ours and go unload that plane???

 

  We start pacing , it is 1:00 am and Sharon and I are not so happy anymore with the carry-ons that we checked. I go in search of answers and there is this tall chick in capris and heels that is all but shouting (with a mans voice) at the United Airline services desk that they need to call a manager in to do something !!! I am so glad he/she is the voice for all of us. They make an announcement about a change in ground crews and apologize for the delay. Ok so what the hell is that about ...like since when do you only unload half a plane and then go home? ah man.....what  is this country coming to anyway ,is this a union thing or a political thing or geeze I dunno. We get the rest of our luggage exactly an hour and a half later 1:30 am. wow ....I really want to know  what that is about....but I am to tired to pursue it.

 

 Well this is getting too long so I’ll try to make it short....haha. Next day flight home I am two hours early to check in and am put on standby ....I booked AFC over six weeks ago...ya I know.... I am assured that I will be flying but they put a big yellow sticker baggage  tag that says STANDBY in big bold letters......on my suitcase , and I keep my carry-on with me. I am too tired to cause a scene and sit quietly at the gate where I am not assigned a seat, while I watch them call up random people as they arrive (I was the first person to arrive for this flight). To make a long story short they call last call for the flight, and after buying off three people that I can see , they call me and give me a boarding pass....whew.... out onto the tarmac to find out they are outta parachutes but I board this little turbo prop plane anyway and we are outta here!!!!!!

 

 amen I say onto you....I hate flying...and I vow NEVER  to fly AFC again EVER !!!! (for those of you that don’t recognize the airlines initials it is Air ‘f####ing’ Canada ...AFC ...insert a sad , not smiley face here.

 

THE END

 

 

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Carribean Cruose part 8

Well here we are sitting in Newark waiting for our connection to Edmonton and we are only 45 kilometers from New York ....really? We have never been to New York....dam ! Ok this goes on to our bucket list. The last couple days of our cruise are uneventful , we practiced our karaoke song but didn’t get to sing. They  had a sign up list and it was full....waw.... ! We were saved from making fools of ourselves but there will be other cruises and we make a pact to do this...insert smiley face here.

 

 Grand Cayman was a ‘tender ‘ out port , meaning we didn’t actually park at a dock but took water taxis ..sorta...to shore and back. Sharon and I have had enough of the  beaches ....WHAT...??? well the sand flea bites at the last beach .....ummmm.....forgot to write about that one. Roatan has the second best barrier reef next to Australia and we took full advantage of this spot. We snorkeled our hearts out and were amazed by the underwater reef and all the flora and coral and fish and well...it was just worth it. The whole beach thing had something for everyone, you could swim with the stingrays, dolphins , pet the sea lions or just hang out on the beach. It was clean and well kept and very beautiful........ be careful though ..... we all went back to the ship with sand flea bites...lol.

 

 Diner was a bust .... didn’t get the pictures I wanted because the dining room staff are so confused about how to serve this new American Table Menu and they keep changing the rules . The second formal night should have us all getting every appetizer again as they explained to us the first time...BUT.... too many complaints and they decide to change back...omg...!! I have to say here that the service was truly suffering and you could tell the staff was suffering too. But we are not annoyed , we are on holidays and someone else is cooking for us. I think I would like to work for Carnival as a consultant on this dining room thing they can’t seem to figure out, I know I can bring something to the table on this ‘so to speak’. lol.  We take in two more nights of shows and comedy and the final sea day was a show and a movie under the stars.,..what a perfect ending to our holiday.

 

 We like this ship and will recommend it to anyone that cares to listen to us. Carnival still puts chocolates on your pillow at night ....awwwww , we are going to miss Jamie our room steward the most, he makes our room up TWICE a day ....bloody hell , huh? Packing was kinda painless because this third cruise has me living out of my suitcase more or less  (we have the room, big couch for it) and with Jamie keeping everything organized we are good to go.

 

 So all in all  we have enjoyed each cruise and would do all three again. The Allure of the seas needs to be revisited with more time spent on it....maybe a repositioning cruise for that ship?

 

 

 Sharon and I are still friends ....she didn’t stick a knife in me during the night with all my coughing ,which still hasn’t cleared up. Every time we run into bickering couples we gave each other the ‘look’..... you know the one.......  it says ‘ Jesus aren’t we lucky?’ ...and I guess we are lucky ....

 

don’t worry......be happy

 

insert smiley face here!

 

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Carribean Cruise part 7

Well...well...well....now why the heck does everyone roll their eyes when you say Carnival? What a surprise this ship is... our room is the biggest yet , overall ..... bathroom is  small but not as small ...AND we have the magnifying mirror back in bathroom ... ya know it is the small things that make the difference. Closet space best of all three and so is the safe (gotta safeguard all this jewelry we have been amassing ....lol). We have a big window and are on the waterline again but we are impressed with our new ‘digs’ and give it a two thumbs up!

 

 We have a theatre under the stars by the pool , it is called a ‘Dive In Theatre’ (no warm blankets and popcorn delivered to our lounge chairs ...like on Princess ) but it is such a treat and we watch ‘the Miracle ’ about the whales trapped in the ice in Alaska. There is just something magical about watching a movie under the stars while cruising on the ocean in warm balmy weather.

 

 This ship is no slouch with around 4000 passenger's and crew...ok I’m not sure, but it is a ‘big one’ . (I did a quick check and it is 4000 to 5000 when full capacity.) We take advantage of the free steam rooms in the spa as well as private pool and Jacuzzi , yep ...two ‘two thumb up’ ..oh...and...and...we have our own robes  in our room , this is usually an upgrade on other ships !

 

 This morning after breakfast (brunch) we take in an arts and crafts class (I feel like we are back in kindergarten) ‘knotted bracelets’ which are now right up there with hateful origami birds. I  tell the baby that is our instructor...and anyone else that is listening  (when did they start hiring such young people?) that I am really gifted with a knife and can carve almost anything out of fruit and vegetables.... and they look at my pathetic  bracelet and their eyes glaze over and they murmur among themselves...geeze ! Instructor gives me a bag with a pair cheap flip flops and a bag of colourful balloons that you tie around the plastic loops ....oh hell...’beam me up scotty’ , crafts are not my forte’ , and I am outta there! My sister is artsy craftsy (cheap xmas present...lol)

 

 This is definitely the ‘ Fun ship” we get the ‘Fun times’ delivered every night containing ‘All in a days play’ inside with happenings on board. We have been on board since Sunday and it is Wednesday already.....omg....where has the time gone?

 

 The party life  has us up past midnight (not by much though) every night  so far. We cut out the alcohol (too expensive ....well , not really cause we are not drinkers ) but it tends to make us just want to turn in early , that is , unless we decide to get into it , which we haven’t yet....well maybe once....but I think Ziggy was giving us triples...lol. We take in the shows and the Comedy

Club ( Chris Wiles) he has us snorting laughter right off the bat.... omg ....laughter is soooo good for the soul and it never stops with him! We even got into some salsa dancing on the top deck by the pool last night....we are liking this ship very much.

 

 oh I forgot...we had a little excitement out side our cabin before supper. Seems like the roof sprung a leak and it is pouring water! Remember we are on floor number one and ground zero (yes it is o on the elevator) is below us. Well there are like twenty maintenance  men and an officer out there directing traffic and looking at the leak “are we sinking?’’ Sharon asks ....? just a little freshwater pipe leak, is the answer ...next time we look out there are more officers stationed (we are like five doors down) outside our cabin. Sharon and I look up our lifeboat drill station(station D aft)  and what lifeboat we are on (eight),btw ..(we do the lifeboat drill on every ship we board and it is a half hour of excrutiating sweaty boredom that can’t be over fast enough and obviously we didn’t pay attention ) then we dress and go for dinner. We have our priorities straight , insert smiley face here. Oh....and we solved the dessert dilemma....(hmmmm...can’t remember if I already wrote about this...) anyway we have decided that dessert should be its own food group and ya gotta cover all the  food groups to be happy (I was going to write healthy but happy is way more appropriate here)....besides unhappiness breeds unhealthiness....there I just made up another word and a great quote, don’t you think?

 

 Our day on Cozumel was spent at a different beach with new friends Debbie (works for American Airlines and owns a beautiful home on Key Largo) and Pam , her sister from New Jersey (owns an RV park and has the winter off). One hubby is too busy and the other is not a fan of cruising. Pam was in the craft class and although she sailed through the bracelet ...undid it too and made it longer..she quit on her second flip flop because she run out of the colored balloons she wanted  . (I was still on my first strands of bracelet ) .Debbie says Florida is the place to be for winters, not California and the Keys are the best place....hmmmmmm. We spend a lazy day sunning and snorkeling....god ...does it get any better than this? It is wicked hot and we spend most of the day in the water.

 

 I need to talk about the food here and I will be taking pictures tonight (forgot my camera /phone last night). Something interesting is happening on this ship in the dining rooms. They are trying out a new idea that I can see will save them lots of time in the serving dept. and maybe all departments , except waste.

 

 Soooooo....... instead of picking and choosing our  appetizers they now serve all of them to everyone and you just pick your entrée . The server goes around and places one of three  apps onto this plate that has an appetizer on it already .....in front of you. He/she then does the second round and then third ....they all fit ....most everyone eats all of them (stuffed mushroom in a tomatoes basil sauce in it’s own little round platette (ok ...so I made that up the term for what it is served in.... but you get the drift?), a small spinach type tart.... ,no platette’  , a ceviche ’on a platette and a smoked salmon type appetizer which was already plated on this big  plate....whew......I only mention this because some of my catering peers might be lurking/reading this....and they are thinking ...a spinach type tart...? like really....? The whole meal is called American feast.

 

  Well it is sorta like the bracelet..... I am not a food writer. I can describe how it made me feel ...like the dessert thingy was truly orgasmic....mmmmm...don’t talk......and I could sell it to you ......like if you even take one bite of this creamy amazing dessert you will want to throw your body at the chef  ...and I could charge you for it ” The price of this meal includes a dessert sooooo amazing that you will be writing me a check for twice as much because the dessert was just that good !” 

 

 omg the dessert tonight is a mango flan (it is the inspiration for the above criteria) that is so light and creamy and flavorful on a bed of translucent tapioca (looks like fish eggs , Sharon says and she is not having any of that) with a little green jell like stuff around the edges ....omg , my high end Catersource chefs are rolling their eyes right now....ok ...so this lacks any sort of panache’ but omg.... I want to marry the chef that made this little piece of heaven.  (ok I will try and get the recipe from them tonight ...and the proper name of it)....and post it on ‘Caterbuzz’.

 

 The food  has been outstanding on all these ships!!! and I would like to say here that they get very little money for doing all these amazing meals that are so incredible! I’m thinking it is less that 12.00 a day (yes I am serious !) maybe 15.00 and that is for all three meals and snacks and such. Well figure it out...most of us pay on average 100.00 a day for a cruise. These chefs are the true heroes of these cruise's and get very little recognition. I have no patience for anyone that whines about the food, I also have a pet peeve about filling your plate with food that you do not intend eating. Take what you want ...but for goodness  sakes eat what you take! We eat in the dining room 90% of the cruises (we have very little will power at buffets so it is just easier on us this way).

 

 Ok enough about the food ...oh no.....one more thing , and it is a Biggie ! They are starting to serve ‘family style’ in these dining rooms ! They are calling it American Table.Yes...they are experimenting with it (we of course know all about it in the catering world) the exciting thing here is they are doing it with the sides only. The other exciting thing (and this is where my camera comes into play tonight) is the dishes they do it with. They have served us a really good mac and cheese side , a broccoli carrots and pearl onions side and there were a couple more that we didn’t order. They came in a round flat bowl (think casserole dish , maybe six inches ) on  a nine inch plate for easier passing...now this is the aha moment...! They are STACKABLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am playing with them and start thinking ...bloody hell .... we can use this idea in our catering business ...it will save tons of room on the table... AND....AND.... keep the food HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 Now I go to Catersource  every year and forgive me if I missed this little gem and you guys are already doing it ....but this is genius ! and I might add it looks very elegant too! Ok ....now I am done on the food.

 

 We are in Costa Maya today and it is pouring buckets of rain , we tried to go out later this morning but people were flooding back into the ship in droves and we decided go stay onboard. I got to bring this journal up to date . This is our first rain out on this fantastic holiday ...how lucky are we? The weather better be good tomorrow we have a tour booked for a private island snorkeling on the second best barrier reef in the world and I am so excited for that one!

 

to be continued....

 

 

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Carribean Cruise part 6

Well we are back onboard this magnificent ship , the Navigator of the Seas is right beside us and a Norwegian ship is on the other dock with a Carnival ship beside it. That is quite the sight all these ships together. We board with ease ....meaning no line ups , what a treat !

 

 We did the whole day at the beach in Cozumel , our tour was only four hours but we stayed there all day. We like to live on the edge....us old people ...cab fare was only twenty bucks to get back. We have sand in our special places again but not as bad as the last time. It’s a good thing we are celibate because this condition could give new meaning to  the phrase ’rough sex’ ...hahahah ...ok kids I know your eyes are bleeding from reading this part...sorry.

 

 The snorkeling produced some interesting finds....Mayan ruins under the water , now how cool is that? ... this place has everything.  We can drink all we want , an open bar , but I only have one drink ....sex on the beach....na...not gonna say anything here,lol  but ...dam...there are no cupholders  on our lounge chairs , so life is not so perfect here after all and I think you all  would just hate it.... I want to give some insight to this place but we were on a tour and the guide was half asleep or just didn’t care to impart any insights about this place on the way here. Taxi driver on way back could not speak English , I really do need to learn Spanish.

 

Mexico is.....well Mexico...! We are coming back here on the next cruise which leaves on Sunday with Carnival , so maybe I will dig deeper for some tidbits then.

 

 Now this is something that is kinda ironic. We are warned in our newsletters about fatalities and accidents and injuries to guests from renting scooters ...motorcycles and jet skis and we are advised against doing these things...ok got it? So Captain Johnny (he is kinda famous in the Royal Fleet.....very personal and always friendly and approachable to guests) well he has not on... BUT TWO Harleys on board and we see one unloaded on the dock today....like really????? I mean if one of the guests dies ...well ..so be it, but who the hell is going to drive this ship if he ends up as road kill? I mean it is something to consider, anyway , just thought I would share that with you.

 

 I have nothing more , but the evening is just starting and we have a comedy show tonight.

 

Well diner runs late and we meet a couple that put the snobby British couple (on our England tour) to shame. omg .... I am still hurting, they are from Florida and we now know everything about their great life and intelligent children ,  great friends ....they are soooo special, Sharon and I want to stick needles in their eyes !!! (he sells health insurance but was a famous college basketball coach ....do I mention here that he is short? ) He also wants to enlighten us about what is wrong with our health system and then gets going on Obamacare .....lord please open up this floor and suck em under.... oh ...and...and....she has every degree there is and went to school until her fifties? Really....? that is sooooooo interesting .... oh my god , there is more ...she teaches really gifted children , one day a week...ok kill me now!!!!

 

 The other couple which I hope to run into again are from Edmonton (Sharons home town) she has just gone back to work after eight months. Turns out she has had a stem cell transplant and is really optimistic about her chances with this new procedure. She has a rare blood disorder ....florida boors wife butts in about how attitudes and lifestyles can determine outcomes , I want to ask her if she has a degree in that. ....geeze.... . Ya now....I just DON’T freaken care if you have a girlfriend from when you were a baby... and all your great girlfriends from the time of Noahs Ark ,  all get together once a month. Sharon comes up with a show stopper for degree babe...Sharons cousin Amanda is at Oxford .... which stops degree bag from putting mouthful of food in her mouth....really, she says...that is very expensive!! not really...Oxford offered her a scholarship...ZAP ...good one Sharon (Sharon doesn’t like to cause waves , so I know she is really irritated as well).

 

 ok ....whew.... We tour around the ship and call it a night.

 

This ship is the first ship ever that we are not lost most of the time trying to figure out which way to go where. Each floor has a big screen situated when you get off the elevators and need to turn and go right or left . On the screen is everything you need to know and so simple to navigate with big lettering (so important for those of us that are getting older and are blind) pictures also help navigate and if all else fails ......we have color-coding (we use this a lot in catering btw) our part of the ship is pink and there are discreet lines in all of our signage  , in pink, so we know we are in our own area. Also on each screen is a play by play of what is happening at what time and where....!! and ....and...most important feature boys and girls...MAP IT ! oh how I love the MAP IT feature, it shows me where I am and then little dotted lines to get where I want to go and on what floor it is ! I feel like I am in first grade and life is so simple again.... this is genius ! I am geographically challenged as well as directionally  challenged and I have to ‘see it’ or you need to draw me a picture ..... well... this is exactly what they have done and everyone is commenting on how easy it is to get around on this beast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Carribean Cruise Part 5

 

Day One to Four of Allure cruise

 

.......to be continued lasted four days... we are now on the biggest cruise ship on the ocean !!!!!!!

 

The transfer to this ship from Norwegian went smooth enough , it was raining and cold in Miami ! This was quite a shock from all our sun filled days and we later heard that Allure had a miserable trip with a cancelled stop at Nassau because of foul weather the week before and it is operating on one engine ( how true is that?...ok I am going to ask the captain tonite ...we have special privileges on this ship because Sharon is a Diamond status guest and I am a lowly emerald...higher than gold and platinum though!). We are invited to an exclusive show tonight with the captain (one of a few exclusive thingys...and FREE!) 

 

 I am not sure where to start , first off....we are overwhelmed by this massive ship ! it is kinda like Las Vegas ...ya know...? How do you explain Las Vegas to some one that has never been there ? I have had no time to devote to this journal ...ummmmm.... nap time trumps journal time.... actually we have had no naps (ok so I snuck one in on Tuesday ) ...there is just too much to see and experience on here. The best way to describe this ship is , think West Edmonton Mall , now make it a mini West Ed on water and that is pretty accurate!

 

 Except for the entertainment....my god....!! We took in the Broadway show CHICAGO last night and I want to tell you it was one hell of a show ! We also took in the Aqua show which was similar to a circ  show in Vegas and I have seen most of them! This also was breathtaking when you see them diving from the top of the ship (we are on deck five ...the ship has 17 floors) into this little pool omg! We have reservations for two more shows and also plan on attending a headliner show as well....geeze ... we are in bed by eleven every night ...ok so maybe nine or ten except last night...haha. We think the free drinks at Diamond club are interfering with our night life , we cannot stay awake after  a late supper unless we have a show.(we are cheap drunks...Sharon and I...two drinks and we are done!)

 

 We had lunch and breakfast in the park café in Central Park THE Best beef on a bun ...(next to ours , of course). Breakfast was just as good with every kind of bagel and toppings....I can’t even begin to do justice to the food....except to sample it...jesus ...this is totally sinful and I plan on going to confession as soon as I get back....but I’m sure there is a special place in purgatory for me . We have everything you could ever want , including a Starbucks , high end  restaurants to Nathans Famous Hotdogs at Johnny Rockets ! oh and...and...a Coach store (no guys it not a sporting goods place ...haha).

 

 The main promenade (floor five and six) is a wide open glass domed area almost as long as the ship with rooms tiered up the inside and open from central park (eight floor) , so if it rains outside ...it rains...inside ! The solarium is on several levels and is a real treat to go and relax , it has hot tubs and a pool as well as couches and comfy chairs , deck chairs ...food.... yada.. yada... yada . Spectacular views of the ocean and Labadie (Island Haiti is on and the Dominican ) ..great for taking pictures of destinations because it is like you are on top floor of a skyscraper. 

 

 Best part....are you ready....? We are on the ninth floor forward and just a short distance to elevators that take us to all our favorite places ...lol. and....and.... we have not bought one thing ...... yet.....ok so we dropped some money at the spa. We have use of the thermal suite for the whole trip, those marble or whatever they are , heated loungers and the aromatherapy steam rooms and dry heated (how do you have a dry heated steam room anyways?) rooms. They also have rainforest showers complete with light show and sound.

 

Our room is an upgrade from the broom closet we had on Norwegian. We have a spacious room with a balcony and more room for EVERYTHING , but when did they stop putting make up mirrors in the rooms and amenities like shampoo and conditioner ???????????????? This was the first time we decided to go without packing these things .....omg .... oh...and ...packing my suitcase was somewhat of a nightmare from the Norwegian! Soooooo ....I will be buying yet another carryon ...which should bring my total to four from previous trips....sigh ......maybe my hypnotist tape has something to help me with my shopping habits....NOT !

 

 We are bound for Jamaica and will be docking shortly ...I hate to say this but it is freaking hot and we have closed our balcony door and cranked up the air......there ...I said it...haha. We will be hiring a taxi to take us to  three different snorkeling places  today. Yes...I bought snorkel stuff ...found out it was for a kid, after the fact , but it has been working for me so far , not the flippers though , ah well, my grandson will get these when I get back.

 

 ok I’m done and we have just about docked , it looks like the Oasis of the Seas (twin to this ship) is docked here as well.....that should increase the island population by 10,000 or more! We have 5800 passengers and 2300 crew on ours  alone! Getting on and off the ship is easy and not at all crowded like you think it would be. Everything is pretty smoothly run.

 

........ to be continued.......  I guess this is Day Four of Allure Cruise.

 

  

 

   

 

 

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Carribean Cruise part 4

DAY NINE

 

The virgin Islands are full of shopping whores and we fit right in.  If we thought we were ‘spent’ from Wednesday we were sadly mistaken. Add one more pair of flip flops , two dresses and omg.....if I am a shoe whore then a jewelry slut cannot be far behind ...add  a ring and earrings here! I wonder if there has a  kinda sexual overtone to all this... and it all has to do with shopping....no sex....no problem....buy a pair of shoes or a beautiful ring.  Then it becomes shopping all day ...god.... who has the energy for ‘playtime’ in bed....lol we already had our fun.. Now I am just theorizing here cause we are flying solo and have spikes growing outta our legs so no one can get near us anyway. So if you’re not getting any  ...check and see if your partner has a lot of ‘stuff’ lying around.

 

 The ride to Coki Beach was uneventful other than they drive on the wrong side of the road (do they drive in Holland this way?) wth ...we are in the US,  so that is strange ....and with all these  beautiful islands we are visiting why can’t Canada have  one ??????  We helped fight a couple wars, Holland in particular coulda give us an Island instead of millions of tulips every year or were we too nice and said oh no....you keep all that real estate we helped liberate for you ....but flowers would be nice?....darn! it is just not fair.

 

 This is by far the nicest island and it would take a long vacation here to explore all the snorkeling opportunities....we find out later we could have went to a different beach and seen sea turtles ...darn! St Thomas has one of the most beautiful beaches ’out of ten in the world’, according to readers digest (is that published in the states?) lol. We sun and we snorkel and it even poured rain for five or ten minutes then cleared up , I like it here and want to come here again ...the drive back to the ship only takes half the time ....in an open air vehicle that seats about twenty people and was driven by one of the islands wannabe Nascar drivers .... it was pretty scary!

 

 We need a long shower from this excursion because we have half the island stored away in all our special places and it takes awhile to ‘desand’. The surf was pretty rough and you get rolling around in it and it is amazing what storage capacities the body has.....lol

 

 We have a dinner date with the ships doctor (from the spa) , we met her a couple times already and she is a hoot! She is from Puerto Rico and has been on this ship only three weeks , she was on the Princess ships for three years and has been out of med school for five. She’s done volunteer work for one to three months  for the missionary causes as well, but eventually wants  to open up a practice in Miami with a partner.

 

 Anyway we start out with mojitos in the Tapas lounge (yep the karaoke place) then go to the dinning room for supper. The Maître D ( we met him last night at dinner when I made him appear by rubbing my teapot (‘think genie’)  and wished for a goodlooking man ...and honest to god ...there he was ! it was coincidental but everyone laughed and he was so confused...lol. He comes over and exchanges pleasantries and asks if he can send us some complimentary champagne .... ? are you kidding ,...drinks are outrageously expensive on cruises and free booze is always welcome....hahaha Needless to say we proceed to get feeling really good and have such a great time, even the tables around us joined in. Jacqueline (we call her Dr. Jackie, which she hates....reminds her of Nurse Jackie the TV show) is very funny , we have tears in our eyes from laughing so much. We decide to head up to karaoke after dinner , she wants to sing the Coco cabana song and none of us can remember the words but that doesn’t really matter.... who sings that song ? Like I mean who in their right mind would want to sing that song? but then....can’t be any worse than Glady’s singing lady ga ga .... so up we go.

 

 We are saved from humiliating ourselves (it is a full house and you needed to sign up)  it is also elimination's  for the best ones to perform next day. There is a couple bad ones that entertain us and then a gal with a country song that will be hard to get out of our heads for awhile , steps up and sings “cheater cheater where’d you meet her.... slowdown showdown white trash HOE !” ....and I am not making that up !!!! Yep , by the reception she gets and the catchy tune it is sung to , she is a potential winner...... and we leave singing that stupid song to everyone we meet on the way down to our rooms......lol .... now I just know Sharon is going to share that with everyone....bloody hell! (I’m assuming all who read this know  how much of an aversion I have to country music)

 

oh....and....we ordered  turkey in honour of our American friends .....who all ordered the beef....go figure! and of course we had the dessert ...I mean it is Thanksgiving.....mmmmm....

 

 

DAY TEN BLACK FRIDAY

 

 We sleep in till 10:30 , I had awful dreams of dead dogs and crying kids and living in shacks....geeze ...must of had too much country  last night ! That was not a good sleep at all. The ship is at sea for two days and the activities are ramped up to high gear . We decided to join the circus and learn how to juggle and such , we should make an effort to better ourselves. The free bingo is also on the agenda....winning some cash wouldn’t hurt either , what with all the shopping we’ve been doing. We sleep though both .....ah well , there is always tomorrow. The big art auction never goes away...like who buys paintings at sea ? The free mimosas and free lithograph and chance of a 500.00 savings on a painting (it’s a draw) do not even register on our radar..... we are not classy or snobby or art lovers I guess ....maybe we are the ‘white trashy type’ that girl was singing about last night....hmmmmm

 

 So we decide after brunch and too much sun (it is sunny and hot once again ....yawn)to make our plans to get to Ft. Lauderdale on Sunday for our next cruise. We make shuttle arrangements to go to the Lauderdale airport (they won’t take us to the pier) and we will grab a cab from there to the pier .....please lord let this work out for us. Our first snafu happens right away , Sharons shuttle ticket is 16.00 and mine is 25.00 , turns out Sharon is going to the Miami airport ...oh god...please let this run smooth , we change her ticket ....whew....

 

 We head down to our room and I decide to have a nap....my cold is still hanging on. Sharon is going to find a shady place to curl up with a book . The room is to cool for her ... BUT she could be cheating on me...it is Black Friday upstairs and all the shops are having a sidewalk sale! 

 

to be continued..........

 

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Carribean Cruise part 3

DAY SEVEN AND EIGHT

 

 

Well it was quite a day today ......tra la ..tra la..tra la...... I want to start with what we did this morning but neither of us can remember what the heck we did....omg.....throw us a lifeline....geeze. Must be the hypnotist thingy cutting in or the sangria (three big glasses for 15.00) ....oh ya....we played two for one bingo this morning, only cost us 39.00 for three cards but we shared and we won 120.00 but had to share with three other people...darn! So I guess we are even. We are at sea today and wanted to stay out of the sun for awhile......I know ....but we have been hitting it pretty hard.

 

 Hypnotist was a mass hypnotizing and I think I fell asleep. All I know is that I haven’t had a cigarette at all today , nor do I crave one....I feel like if I golfed my game would be much improved and I am not the least bit stressed.  I am taking the stairs more (sure it is all going down but it is much easier .....lol) I feel so good! I have quit biting my nails ....hmmmmm....I can’t remember if I was a nail biter and I know if I went into sports I would surely excel at whatever I try.....all this is happening to me and it only cost me 135.00 but I saved the 700.00 off the full price.

 

 But wait..... there's more....! We went to the twelfth floor tapas  lounge for supper and  they happened to have Karaoke hour. That is where we tied into the three big sangria drinks....... and no I did not sing ....uh uh......but

 Gladys Cherryblossom decided to take a stab at it and after much cajoling by the three people in the lounge....she belted out a  Lady Ga Ga tune....yep.....P..P..P..P..Poker Face ....omg.... But there is a god, Sharon did not have her camera ! Gladys received a great round of applause from all three people and the staff (who were desperate for anyone to participate). Sharon said Gladys  wasn’t that bad....hmmmmm

 

The weather has been exceptional this whole trip and we are more than happy with the ship ....broom closet is even not that bad. Some of the challenges are ...to shave...or not to shave..... legs are getting a little prickly , but we are sleeping solo so we won’t hurt anyone....lol. The shower is one of those corner deals with a round metal rod jutting out ....this almost reminds me of the showers over the toilet...remember those in the RVs?  If we keep our stuff put away and that helps.  The ‘ride’ is unbelievably smooth....being near the waterline has its advantages ...insert smiley face here !

 

day eight finds us in St Martin ....population 80,000 and what a beautiful place this is! Education here is similar to Aruba except kids only need three mandatory  languages and two optional, healthcare and education is free.  We decide to take some money and our credit cards into town....hmmmm subconsciously we are preparing ourselves to make up for a lost opportunity in Curacao  where we almost bought an emerald ring but realized that we didn’t have enough time and then we had left our credit cards on the ship....hahahaha not gonna make that mistake today!

 

Well we don’t have any problem finding stuff we can’t live with out......did I mention that my suitcase weighs 51.4 lbs on the trip over? oh...and ...and....United charged us 25.00 to check it ...dam .....sooooooo gotta be careful here cause it is another checked bag if I can’t wear everything ...lol (it’s really not funny and we don’t like this one bit).

 

 This place has everything ...even leather coats and jackets from Turkey, we know this because we were there this time last year. We mention this and owner comes up front and he is from Istanbul and there is my same coat I  bought there . (it is 300.00 more here) We buy a fashion leather jacket that will probly get very little wear and we leave there with a smile on our face.

 

oh....and remember my resolve to only pack three pair of shoes ? (well I did wean it down to five which included my winter boots) turns out I needed a new pair of sandals but I needed to buy two pair to get a deal .....DARN......now how the heck am I gonna wear two pairs of sandals over my boots???? ah well......I have two more cruises to figure that one out.

 

 

 The emeralds are still calling our name so we check out the Diamonds International jewelry  stores . After spending all day shopping we are ....are you ready for this?.....we are spent ! Yep ....back to the ship and into the pool ...then the hot tub....then the steam room , (we found that little gem last night). Oh yes....and we have the rings !!!! A wise man once told me “money is only stuff you haven’t bought yet” well that stuff is money we don’t have to worry about anymore........ we are enjoying the piss outta this holiday. insert smiley face here....

 

 We meet up with the professor and his wife for supper , they are quite the eccentric couple ...they had a cat that talked regularly on the phone to her mom and her sister and a dog named Wendal that had his own life . When the cat passed away her sister called and when informed of the ‘passing’ she couldn’t believe it cause she had just ‘talked’ to her the day before.

 

 Sharon  and I walked so much while shopping we decide we deserve to have the bread pudding dessert ....and....and....it doesn’t cost us anything .....life is good . Banjo player on steroids is playing in the showroom tonite so we take a pass and turn in early.

 

 

 

 

Carribean Cruise part 2

DAY FIVE AND SIX

 

HMMMMMM........well the days are starting to run into each other so I’ll just do a recap of the highlights......

 

it was hot and it was sunny , we took a paid tour in Aruba for snorkeling 90.00 includes  open bar and buffet on the beach . This was worth the money cause Sharon is a secret drinker.......hahaha. ok I am lying ...truth is we are both cheap drunks , two drinks and we can’t stop laughing.... or we need to find a bed.... (to sleep)....lol The snorkeling is in very rough seas and it is just so so....Cuba (which is all I have to compare it too) was 10 times better for fish and coral and fauna. But it was nice to get back into it. The beach was on an island and it had a water park that was amazing!!

Sharon would not go down the slide so I could get a nice picture ..... I think she wants to kill me because I cough all night , every night ....I picked up a cold on the day we left. I clued into it yesterday morning when I said I wanted to shoot myself after a particularly bad night and she offered to buy the gun......

 

 

Aruba has a 100,000 population , it lost its oil production last year when a big company shut down and now they rely solely on tourism. They use steam to generate power that is heated with diesel and then they reuse the water from the steam (genius!) . So guide informs us water is super safe to drink , no need for bottled water “this is not Mexico” he says. All these islands are ruled by the Netherlands and English and Dutch is a common language as we find out in Curacao as well.

 

 The children learn Dutch and English  in grade one then they learn German in grade five and grade six they start polish and then Spanish ...omg !!!! These kids are taught five or six languages ....hell , I had a hard time with just French in high school. When they finish high school they are then shipped to the Netherlands usually on a scholarship to further their education ! Guide says they need these languages  because of all the tourists. It is kinda frightening , I think, like what will happen if there are no tourists?

 

 The Dutch traded new Amsterdam for these string of islands ....now I wanna know why Canada can’t trade Quebec for one of these little paradise spots ? Btw they renamed New Amsterdam after the captain of the deal ...his name was York....yep you guessed it ....they renamed new place New York! I really don’t get it but then geography is beyond my grasp.....history too : (

 

 ok end of day (sugar free dessert....haha) we like the music in Dazzies so we stay and order a drink , I have a grey goose , peach schnapps and cranberry juice ....Sharon has a Corona , bill comes and I put a dollar tip on chit (we don’t use money on board just a plastic ‘sea pass ‘ card) . It makes it easier to spend except at the end of the trip when you get the bill and realize you may be an alcoholic....when you see the total!! Anyway the drink was so potent I change the tip to two dollars and Sharon and I wander out on the dance floor to make some smooth moves to “Play that funky MUUUSIIIIC ALLLLLL NIGHT.....” hahahaha  God ...we are good.....

 

 

 Today we decide to beach it on our own in Curacao , we pick up a cab .... nine passenger pos van (piece of shit)  we share with a really cute young lady visiting her girlfriend , she is from Holland. We proceed to go on this long arduous journey through hell . Driver is on cell phone and we are on back roads that are little more than trails ....omg.... this is not good !

 

  Sharon and I keep giving each other looks and I am making ‘this is quiet the shortcut jokes’ but no one is laughing . I am seriously thinking this could be a big mistake (picking the really blonde pretty girl to share the ride) , I mean no one wants to kidnap us but this girl is kidnap material ....my imagination takes over.....geeze .....why do we keep doing these stupid things? I mean the beach is only supposed to be a few miles down the road , but here we are in no mans land in this piece of shit non descript van with no writing on it...... and we have been driving for close to half and hour!

 

 So ok ...we do end up in this beautiful secluded beach (yes this where you get to go topless) it is optional though so Sharon and I toss a coin and we keep our tops on and I picture everyone mentally thanking us for that....hahaha We only pay driver a portion of agreed price (we have no choice but to keep him cause there are no other means of transportation here to get us back to the ship) he accepts and agrees to come back and get us. (mistake number two ....NEVER go somewhere on your own to a place that has no busses or taxis.) We cover the big four S’s

1)Swimming

2)Suntanning

3)Snoozing

4)Snorkeling

 

Woman at snack shack rolls her eyes at us when it is time to go and we say we are waiting for our driver....omg.... this coulda gone bad real fast but driver shows up and we breath a sigh of relief ...it is pouring buckets and we take a civilized paved road outta there. I think we got screwed on the dutch krona or whatever their money is but don’t care, we are back to the ship with barely time to spare!

 

 We are pretty much last onto the ship but Captain announces engine problems and our departure is now delayed by three hours.....geeze....we think we should him our phone numbers so he can call us next time he’s running late then we don’t have to panic about returning on time!!!

 

ok....dessert is a baked apple in a puff pastry with a dash of whipped cream so the sugar free falls by the wayside for me but Sharon sticks to her guns and has the sugar free....she is vying for saintdom ....lol . We fall into bed at 7:30 pm ...omg ....we are turning into those two old ladies that stalk us . Every time we get our picture taken they show up in our clothes....wtf? They also show up on EVERY cruise we take !

 

 Ok so .....we are excited for tomorrow , or I should say I am ....I'm going to get hypnotized. I am going to lose weight , sleep better , look ten years younger and live happily ever after ....I can hardly wait : ) .

 

 

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The Green Necklace

Living in a Glass Jar

 

 The Green Necklace

 

She watched with anticipation as I opened her present that was bought with her very own earned money , a gift to her nana that is always spoiling her. I know she is excited for me to open her gift.

 

 Inside , taped to a soft cover teen harlequin novel (she knows I love to read)  is a bright green sparkly necklace with matching earrings.

 

  I am taken back in time to another xmas years ago . It was my sons expectant face looking into mine as I carefully opened his gift bought with great care using his own money. inside is the softest grey wool sweater and a broach that matched the colour of the sweater.....he  was so proud of his find and I was so touched by his diligence in shopping for just the right gift for me. I will always remember that gift and his expectant eyes and his happiness at my approval.

 

 I never wore the sweater ...well maybe once and same for the broach and I remember him asking me why I never wore his gifts , I suppose I shrugged it off with some explanation. When I look back and remember this time I am always saddened by the fact that I neglected to pay attention to  such a simple  request and I wish I had that to do over again....but I can’t . I will never forget that  sweater and the broach and his proud face....but he doesn’t know that.

 

 I turn my attention back this beautiful green sparkly necklace and I clasp it onto my neck and affix the earrings onto my ears and I don’t take them off until  go to bed. I also know what I will be wearing on New Years eve ...even if I don’t go anywhere.

 

 I have been given a second chance and I am grateful .......

 

 

 

 

 

LIVING IN A GLASS JAR .....
 

 

 

I’ve decided I like writing about everyday life, some friends and family have encouraged me to keep writing. I will provide names upon request....lol

 

So here goes my first installment

 

.... those that know me , know I blurt out stuff all the time. Sometimes I just need to ‘get it out’  or I’m pondering a dilemma or problem and writing it down clarifies or solves what it is I am looking for.

 

  I am open minded and much more tolerant of EVERYTHING in my old age. Stuff that used to annoy or bug me ...still does...but it just doesn’t really matter anymore.... Unless of course it is stupidity (from which I am not immune...lol) or racist  see below

 

 

 

 

 

 Please be forewarned that nothing is really sacred to me and I really am curious about a lot of things. Being married for forty years and now single for three has me pondering all kinds of ‘stuff’ relationships in particular ,friends, family and of course men ..... mentally and  physically .....(be forewarned again)...lol.

 

 Having lost three of my siblings ( I am the oldest) as well as my parents, makes me fully aware of my own mortality  . The hype about living in the present is really true. Losing those that should be outliving me makes me humble.

 

 I now live in the present but that can have a downside as well......making plans for future events  with friends and family can be problematic ...see....I don’t want to miss that cheap  last minute flight to Cuba...!.  There are also no illusions here about being rich or famous or even being thin, my weight, is here to stay .....really?....darn... and last,  loving yourself can be the hardest part ......(well sometimes loving yourself can be really good...lol). I forwarned you!!

 

 Being a grown-up isn’t always easy either, and lets face it, how many of us know what we want to be when we grow up ...god ...I am still searching....and still... when I am really sick all I want is my mommy, some things never change.

A MOTHERS LAMENT

 

  (ON THE BREAKUP OF A MARRAIGE)

 

I wish I could make everything better for you

I know you have suffered and

your sorrow makes me sad

but I cannot change

what I have done

I did it to save myself

I surely didn’t anticipate

 your pain

I am so sorry

 

your presence in our life

 has always been

our greatest achievement

and I will never ever regret that part of my life

and I know it took the two of us

to teach and guide you

you are our greatest joy

and on that

I  know

we both  agree

 

love always

mom

 

 

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