SEX AFTER SIXTY

                                                  SEX AFTER SIXTY

 Had you told me even as little as twenty years ago that my sex life would be the best ever after age sixty...I certainly wouldn't have believed you! I actually thought I had a pretty good sex life back then.  If you told me I would be so sexually charged  that I would need to buy sex toys... I would have laughed in your face....hah!

 Alas ....it is all true and I have come a long way in my own sexual development and understanding my own body. Sex is so exquisitely intimate ,  fulfilling and excruciatingly beautiful as well  as just plain feels good. There is sex and there is masturbating (to relieve the sexual tension) and then there is kissing and holding  , snuggling and cuddling . But then there is  making love with a partner that reciprocates all of these feelings in such an intimate and trusting way that you know this is very special and may never come your way again.

 Have you ever been kissed and felt it right to your very soul? ....that happened to me after age 60 and I was totally unprepared for the feelings of first surprise..... then, pure wonder and joy and such pleasure....how was this possible? A one night stand to define my newly single status and to quench my sexual thirst ..... actually turned into a three year on again /off again love affair that taught me all about love and my own  sexuality. The difference between having  sex and making love.  Sexual intimacy comes in many forms and once you experience it I think you should take great care to nurture it and never give it up willingly!!

 You know that scene in the movies .... time stands still and the music and stars and everything  aligns for that one moment....well that can actually happen...it has to me. Even just thinking about it makes me want to sneak back into bed and let my hands wander all over the memory of our last encounter until I am once more sated....

 To feel so deeply also has a  downside if the other person is not right for you for what ever reason. With age comes a certain degree of knowledge about your life so far (for some) for myself  the realization of love lost,  comes at a price. The cost  for me comes with such sorrow that I sometimes can't bear it.... writing helps as does poetry (my own). That he will never be mine sometimes hurts as much as life itself.

  I also wonder if my life would have maybe been better without knowing about these feelings.... and of course the answer is ...no ! Maybe I am the lucky one, I have felt such great joy ...experienced such love.....have had such loving ...made love to such a sexually charged man that I have made him cry out in pleasure...many times.....do you know how empowering that is? That he has done the same to me makes me weak with desire just thinking about it.

 Which brings me full circle ...would I have been better off not knowing all this about myself ,the joy of sexual pleasure...the warm envelope of lovemaking.....the feel of his lips on mine ...maybe some day another love will come my way and knock my socks off... at least I do know that with age there are no sexual barriers and for me what I have felt and feel.......it  is worth the price.


 

overview of my Cuban holiday

OVERVIEW OF MY CUBAN HOLIDAY

 

This country of 12 million people is fascinating to me because it is such a beautiful island with such a diverse population. The Cuban representative from Sunwing (SunQuest vacations) which I usually use , even has Chinese in his background. So many different countries ruled and inhabited  Cuba , even the English .....for one year!They have many provinces (12...I think) and they joked that because so many Canadians come here they are going to give us our own province.... about time I say!

 

 Most I met are happy and friendly and who is to say that their government oppressing them is such a bad thing? The freedoms are coming for them albeit at a much slower pace than the rest of the world. The embargos may be hurting them but then again look at other countries and the crime and drugs and greed and...and...

 

 These people have the basics which we all should have.... like food , water, shelter , education ....and it is mandatory that everyone be educated, plus it is all free... and free healthcare! Even we don’t have free dental and eye care. Our kids drop out of school and drugs are a real problem in our society... not so in Cuba.Cubans have little access to internet and TV is censored , although they do have CCTV(Chinese TV broadcast in English with the moderators sounding like western journalists ...omg ...it was pretty funny to me!) This is in the hotels and I have to admit I didn’t turn it on much at all.

 

 The charm of this island is that it is isolated and you’ll see we aren’t all walking around with our handheld devices keeping in touch with stuff back home... remember this is supposed to be down time, so relax you are not supposed to be working. Phones will work btw... they have Cubacell but as always, be careful about those data roaming charges...ouch !

 

 I love the old buildings, and how they keep the old cars on the road is beyond me. The many artists and art work is amazing and I finally bought a painting for myself. The carvings in wood and antlers and coconuts is amazing, and things made out of tin and pop cans and auto parts and...and... the list goes on . I had to keep turning over the items to see if it was made in china but everything is made here by hand and they are a pretty inventive lot. The wood carvings are very beautiful.

 

 Beggars are starting to pop up everywhere but our tour guide on the Havana tour suggested we give our money wisely to the  people looking after us (something that you are getting service for)a nd not encourage the begging on the streets that is outright getting something for nothing and encouraging child abuse....because there is usually an adult out there taking the money from them. Great idea !

 

 Hemmingway loved this island and lived in a hotel in the middle of Havana. It is still a thriving hotel and this is my second time here and I haven’t explored it...dam!!!! Next time I am going to stay in it!

 

Change is coming...you can see it and you can feel it , but much slower than our fast paced way of life....god I love it here....insert smiley face!!

 

WAW....I don’t want to go home!

 

 

Sent from Windows Mail

My Cuban Holiday revised and ready

CUBA

The weather is hot...hot...hot...miles of pristine beaches and the oceans beckon me in... I love Cuba!

 

  Fidel Castro commemorated the grand opening of this state of the art hotel in 1977. Covering many a acres of land it is huge! I think they designed this one as a template for  hotels to come after it. There is the huge the main building and then mini condo type buildings two or maybe three story high through-out the grounds. Trees and grass and flowering shrubs.... most places have electric golf carts to help get guests around but not this one. Lots of swimming pools and entertainment during afternoons and most evenings there is a live entertainment show of some kind. The arts are well supported in Cuba and they have schools that specialize in just the Arts. Lots of talent here.

 This is Cuba so there are a few things you need to get used to ...beds are not plush, more on the hard side, pillows are scarce and flat and well used. Things that are not working ( a light in entrance way flashes like a disco ball...on and off) gets fixed four days later... no promised beach towels til three days later. (Room towels are very small and scarce) Showers started out with hot water and turned to lukewarm three days in. Take toilet paper everywhere with you and small change for tipping (btw the Cubans are very respectful and would never hold out their hand for a tip). They cannot help you if you complain because chances are it is out of their control to insure you get those towels or pillows or faceclothes. Pick the food you feel most comfortable eating and stick to that.... should mention here that we are here  five days in and shredded lettuce shows up at breakfast...wth? No lettuce all week anywhere....

 

OH ...AND...AND....BRING YOUR OWN FACECLOTHS !!! I don’t know why they can’t have face clothes but I sure missed them! They seemed to have a basic problem with the laundry all week. I find out that Laundromat that does all the laundry is broke down and having lots of repairs done  (it is also 15 miles from hotel)....ah well things look up later in the week for the laundry. I try to bribe the maid for face cloths and pillows ...she comes through with one pillow AND an adapter for our power ....shit....we forgot to bring an adapter ! I think the 5 stars had them ...can’t remember, need to plug in the iphone ! I didn’t bother bringing my computer because the internet sucks here!

 

Ok be forwarned ....just dis-connect and leave all the techy things at home before you come and enjoy your holiday....phone service sucks as well even the texting is very hit and miss!!!!

 

 

 I want to put in a  footnote here that there is a definite difference (ok....for me anyway) in the star rating. This one is 3 and a half stars and seems to be going through some changes ...they are expanding but the property is in need of a lot of repair and tender loving care ...the chefs really do ok with what they’ve got ...hmmmm I am going to take that back and say someone needs to go in and smarten them up on cooking practices and preparing food. Bar fridge is not stocked with beer, pop and rum....waw!

 I want a job consulting here ... they need cooking lessons , the vegetables are mostly over cooked and lacking taste.( when you come bring your own little soya sauce packets and ketchup packets) just sayin.  Five stars that I’ve stayed in have  a bit more style and flare with the food. Wine is always included with the meals as is pop and drinks and juice (no tomatoe juice ). But if you are looking at a cheap holiday in the sun and not going for the food ...what the heck, there is no snow here...lol.

 We take the Havana tour fourth day in (China supplies fairly new and comfortable tour buses to Cuba, thank goodness!) and the weather has turned ... brrrr .... Which is good because touring Havana on a hot day can be brutal (did that last trip). I am noticing a lot of renovations in the city. Ownership does that , they are finally allowed to buy their homes but the cost is prohibitive...they some get help from relatives living in Miami . I love Havana and would consider a stay right in the city so I could explore more of it and experience the flavours and feel of this grand place. The crime is pretty much non existent....credit long jail terms for crimes...  same with drugs. Kids are pretty much drug free, what a blessing that must be. I love the Cuban people they are so friendly and helpful.

 The hotels and resorts are owned by the government and a joint venture with the French, Spanish and Germany 49% for the foreigners and 51% for Cuba. Gardeners get paid the same as the hotel clerks. The average wage here is 40 dollars a month. Cars cost approx. 35,000.00 and the national sport is hitch hiking. The tourism industry attracts a lot of professional people because they can make a lot more money in tips than they can practicing law or medicine. Isn't that just insane? At the orientation our guide tells us to forgo the tip to the bartender once in awhile and give it to the gardener instead or some others that don't usually get tips... in other words , spread it around!

 She also said IF YOU OVERSPEND YOUR ALLOTTED LIMIT which is 700.00, she wants us  to come and see her... she wants to see what the heck we bought! There is NO 'made in China' stuff here everything is made in Cuba and the artworks and woodcarvings are second to none (very bulkiy to pack in suitcases though). They make stuff out of everything... including small nuts and springs and shells and seeds and ... and... and... it is amazing ! Needless to say necessity is the mother of invention here and what a creative lot they are. More and more restaurants are opening up. We had a fantastic lobster meal in Varadaro in a little side street 'hole in the wall' place that was spotless clean and so was the tiny kitchen, as I observed, when I had to use the little girls room.This is basically a ground floor apartment with about four tables jammed into the small living quarters and one outside....where we sit and enjoy this great meal. You should know that they did this whole meal and served guests at the other tables as well from a couple hotplates.... no big stoves and ovens here. 

 

Btw, americans are welcome in Cuba and they accommodate them by not stamping their passports when entering the country....something that is important, I guess. They would have to enter through another country though, as there are no direct flights to Cuba from the states. There are a lot of Russian tourists along with Chekoslavakia and Poland ,Germany and the French of course . A lot of Canadians (the Cubans prefer us to the Russians who are loud and rude, drink copious amounts of alcohol and are very inconsiderate... or so I've been told). We pass by a familiar logo painted on huge oil containers from back home, Canada seems to have a big stake in the oil industry here  (so I am informed)...helping them produce it.

 Health care is free (and the doctors do HOME VISITS and are expected to visit ALL of their patients at least once in a year) these visits are also designed to educate the people on preventative care as well. Cubans also receive FREE dental and eye care. Education up to and including university is free. While it is true they are not free to chose what ever they want to study ... they do have a choice of about five fields. The government also expects two years of service in the military from its citizens or you can exchange one year of military for one year of university.

 

Time has stood still in Havana  especially old Havana. The American older cars are plentiful and kept going with great ingenuity using parts from all kinds of motors and or reinventing some to fit these older modesl and much photographed gems!

 I did however notice changes that were not to my liking on my last visit and also our tour guide pointed it out. We are teaching these proud but poor people how to beg. Most of us bring things like pencils and paper and colouring books , make up , toothpaste , perfumes and lots of small goods that are scarce in Cuba. We throw or hand out stuff along the way on our tours and now we have kids and women in some places along the way waiting for our arrival in the buses or jeep safari tours. We need to stop doing this the tour guide advises... a lot of these people are making a living at this and they should be doing real work. DO NOT GIVE MONEY TO THAT CHILD THAT IS BEGGING  they are being used as fronts front by unscrupulous adults waiting around the corner to collect that money.

 Leave these things at the hotel or distribute it among staff there. Tell the begging child in the market place to go home and study for school or get a job. Good advice I think , they may be poor but nobody is left wanting for food , shelter, healthcare or education. Who are we to upset this balance?



Sent from my iPhone

a poem for my daughter

 

 

I Want you to Know

 

 

you brought me  such joy

you changed my life forever

once you have a child

as you know

life is never completely

your own anymore

even age

and time

does not diminish

this unselfish love

that lives inside

my heart

for you

the fire within

she allowed herself just this once
to relive the sensual feeling of his touch
of his lips
igniting a desire
so fierce
she was consumed
with it
 drowning into an abyss
of physical longing
 that only the memory
of her lips on him
and the exploding sounds of his  pleasure 
quenched
 the
 fire within
and
made her calm
 

I WONDER

I WONDER

will you always be 
a yearning ache
a physical feeling
of such loss
that it permeates
my broken heart
and makes it
impossible
for me
to love again
or
will time
wash away 
all these fragments
held together by
my tears
and make it
whole again
.......
I wonder



 

Living in a Glass Jar ....death...memories....desire

 

 

 

Warm Memory

I remember

that early morning kiss

the warmth of your lips

the taste of sensuous desire

the heat of such tender yearning

and total naked trust

to feed your body with mine

and

even though you are gone

the memory lingers on...

 

 

Death

rip me from my new-found freedom
 or promise me
 my children's children
 will live in peace
...and I will come quietly

 

 

DESIRE

fans the dying embers of our last encounter

and starts a raging inferno

inside of me

which can only be tempered with

the touch of my hands following the memory of 

....your body thrusting into me

 calming the flames

....to settle into

a warm envelope of your love

 

CL Margerate