Well the stopover in Newark ended up being somewhat of an ordeal, but if snafu’s never happen then my writing about our travels would be that much more boring. We get the announcement an hour before take off time that, although we have a plane, we don’t have a pilot.... like wth? ....oh it gets better....we had a pilot... but now we need a replacement for him....again...wth? Was he in the lounge and consumed to much alcohol....or was he falling asleep on the last flight and needs to have a nap? Did he have a fight with his wife and now has Air-rage (new term...lol)...? We are unsure about what to think about this message....but ya know what I am thinking? yep....this sounds like something else I have never done... we need to stretch ourselves and flying one of these babies could be a real stretch...????
Now if I was in charge of that announcement I would have had that delinquent pilots wife, giving birth in a cab in New York so he had to make a hasty exit. . As it is we need to imagine all sorts of scenarios ...we have a pilot but he needs replacing...geeze! ....but wait it gets even better.....about ten minutes later .....as I’m thinking how do you get a reserve pilot to the airport in time for us to board and take off...I mean it takes us forever to go through security for Christ sakes (there are three people waiting standby for this flight because they missed the last one that morning for that very reason).
Now comes the announcement that we are changing planes as well....and NO , I am not making this up, they have found a pilot but apparently they have to find him a plane he knows how to fly.... ok so I made that part up ..but wtf? Now we need to change planes and change gates , there is another plane at that gate that will be taking off in ten minutes (lies...lies...and more lies, try one hour) then....we will be towing ‘your plane’ into that gate...oh god ... have I mentioned in any of these journals how much I hate flying? It is a means to an end , although I am a good swimmer , some of these places are just too far and my lust for travelling over powers my fear of flying.
I just try to make myself small (I know...lol) and I don’t chat (ya...hard to believe...) I don’t eat , drink or shop...?..yep ...apparently they have a whole catalogue of stuff you can purchase ‘duty free’......really...?when did flying turn into a shopping experience ? ......then I wonder hmmmm...do they have any jewelry and whereis all this stuff... is there a cargo hold filled with merchandise and THAT IS THE REASON we need to pay for ALL OUR CHECKED BAGS NOW ???? So ..ok...that was just a fleeting thought and buying any kind of food and drink on a plane requires a credit card that is not maxed out and I am unsure of mine....but the bottom line is that my goal .... IS TO NOT USE that stinky dirty bathroom that Mister T just used...ugh! I stay in my seat and hope I don’t get one of those embolisms in my legs from not getting up and stretching ...so I wiggle my toes a lot, and I have avoided that baby so far.
They finally have a plane in place for us and we are into two hours late now. Our original arrival time is 11:00pm (we lose two hours for time zones as well) but wait....seems like we are going to make up some time in the air (ok so a tail wind is good but do they just fly faster too?) we arrive at 11:41 and I only mention this because our ordeal is not over.... you know that extra bag I had to buy because I have no will power when it comes shopping? Well I have been draggin it around and hoping they don’t weigh it ...insert smiley face here.... but wait...we get to check it FREE on our way into the airplane ! Sharon and I are glad to get rid of this extra baggage until it comes time to get them back on the other end.
All goes well and the flight is excruciatingly long (as they all are when I am flying) but uneventful. Everyone rushes to get off the plane and scurry past us two old gals only to stand in line at customs. We get through customs.... ok ...this is where those two old gals stalking us and wearing our clothes take over and breeze through with just a few gifts for the grandkids ...hahaha
...those two old gals are wearing a lot of rings...hmmmm.
So now we are waiting for our luggage, we flew AFC which is partners with United Airlines and they have adopted AFC’s slogan “we’re not happy ...until you’re not happy !” . We wait a good half hour for our luggage and when it finally shoots out Sharon and I are so happy ours are the first bags , our big ones, (that we had to repack at check in to rebalance weights so we are at an even 50bs each.....I add more stuff to my carry-on and Sharon lets me use her extra 4lbs and we manage).
Well this luggage is coming out in fits and starts (we are still awaiting our carry-ons....) then ......nothing........ hmmmmm half the people are still here and waiting as well.... We wait another half hour , it is going in to an hour now and still no luggage . Meanwhile a flight from Chicago has arrived ...been through customs....AND they have their luggage and are gone!!! Did they quit with ours and go unload that plane???
We start pacing , it is 1:00 am and Sharon and I are not so happy anymore with the carry-ons that we checked. I go in search of answers and there is this tall chick in capris and heels that is all but shouting (with a mans voice) at the United Airline services desk that they need to call a manager in to do something !!! I am so glad he/she is the voice for all of us. They make an announcement about a change in ground crews and apologize for the delay. Ok so what the hell is that about ...like since when do you only unload half a plane and then go home? ah man.....what is this country coming to anyway ,is this a union thing or a political thing or geeze I dunno. We get the rest of our luggage exactly an hour and a half later 1:30 am. wow ....I really want to know what that is about....but I am to tired to pursue it.
Well this is getting too long so I’ll try to make it short....haha. Next day flight home I am two hours early to check in and am put on standby ....I booked AFC over six weeks ago...ya I know.... I am assured that I will be flying but they put a big yellow sticker baggage tag that says STANDBY in big bold letters......on my suitcase , and I keep my carry-on with me. I am too tired to cause a scene and sit quietly at the gate where I am not assigned a seat, while I watch them call up random people as they arrive (I was the first person to arrive for this flight). To make a long story short they call last call for the flight, and after buying off three people that I can see , they call me and give me a boarding pass....whew.... out onto the tarmac to find out they are outta parachutes but I board this little turbo prop plane anyway and we are outta here!!!!!!
amen I say onto you....I hate flying...and I vow NEVER to fly AFC again EVER !!!! (for those of you that don’t recognize the airlines initials it is Air ‘f####ing’ Canada ...AFC ...insert a sad , not smiley face here.
THE END
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